Lessons I’m learning from: being my own worst enemy. (Learning to overcome it)


I write this blog for each and everyone of you who struggles with the same problem. I pray that we will all become people who can learn to accept and love ourselves. Who can drop the barriers that we have put up as a defence and learn to walk in the freedom that God has always wanted us to know. I begin with asking you to think of the image that appears when you see yourself as your own worst enemy.  The image that comes to mind when I think of myself as my own worst enemy, is of me standing in front of a mirror and truly seeing the reflection that is reflected back at me. I see myself with a tear stained faced, who is ashamed of herself and is trying to hide every piece of her. The worst truth is that my reflection is scared of me because I have only ever been horrible to her. I do not write that for sympathy, instead it is a place I should have never allowed myself to get to because all that hatred for myself has allowed who I truly am to be diminished. I am going to write this all from how my faith has allowed me to start working on these problems because it is a process that God is working through with me. Whether you come from a faith perspective or not, I pray that you will find hope and freedom as we all work on this together.

Firstly, we need to understand that until our mindset changes we will remain stuck in the same place. We can do all these things on the outside to put on a show that we are doing well, at the end of the day we come home and we are still battling with all those issues. Our mind needs to know freedom, it will take time but I am going to write about some things that have enabled me to start removing this negative and dark mindset.


This is the print that hangs on my wall, I got it recently and I love the image that it gives. The life that is exploding from her mind, the flowers in full bloom and the butterflies that are surrounding them. It reminds me that my mind should be where life grows, it should not be a dark place full of thoughts that destroy the good things. It is an image of how our mind should be; full of life, joy love and kindness. A place where beautiful things grow and remain. Where there is no room for thoughts that want to diminish our worth and that will sow lies into our lives. The other day I went into a spiral, I was overthinking which is always my downfall, where I felt so incomplete. I felt this gentle reminder to speak God’s truth over my life, what does God say about my worth.

Psalm 139v14 ‘I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it well.’

This was the one Bible verse that came to mind at the time, it was enough to focus my mind back on God and to take my eyes off of what I was not in control of. It was a reminder that unless I anchor my belief in who God says I am; then someone else will fill in that gap and it will never be a voice that speaks the life and purpose God does. I know that truth within my life, I have looked to many people for advice on who I am and who I should be. It is never quite what I needed.

Secondly, there is no room for negativity. This is a lesson God is continuously teaching me through my youngest sister. I say mean things about myself and do it in a way that I believe sounds like I am joking to others. For example, if I enjoy a plate of food I will call myself tubby or chubby. My mindset would tell me that I could not enjoy that food without feeling bad about my body.  My sister never laughs when I ‘jokingly’ speak these words over myself. Most of the time I will ask her why she is not laughing, if I am finding it funny why isn’t she. She states that it is not funny and does rebuke me and others when we speak negative words over our lives. Honestly, I am learning to appreciate that fact that she does not allow people to speak negativity over their life and that she does not find it acceptable. It is a beautiful gift that God uses her to speak life and truth into the people in her life.

What I want us all to learn from this lesson is that we should be careful who we surround ourselves with. If you just hang around with a group of people who only ever speak negatively, no life will actually grow from that friendship.  Negativity will only bring death. It is not something that we should allow to harbour in our life. Also, we cannot simply rely on others to be the one who speaks life over us. That needs to begin with our own selves. We need actively choose to speak words of life, kindness and love over our lives. It is not prideful to do that but it is a necessity that is needed for continual growth. 

Thirdly, our imperfections do not make us weak. As much as social media is to blame for its false pretense of perfection. We need to realise that we have to see beyond that. We know ourselves the best, we know our limits and who we want to be and what we need to be doing. We need to overcome holding up other people’s ideals. Come off of social media and anything else that makes you feel unworthy about who you are. You realise that life goes on, that comparing yourself does not have to be a necessity for living. When we stop trying to control everything that we are, that enables God to move in us. When we surrender, that is when God begins the healing of our heart and mind that we have allowed to be ripped apart. We need to stop seeing ourselves as monsters and allow ourselves to come to know the beautiful and wonderful person we are. God did not create us so that we would spend our whole lives hating ourselves. What a pointless existence that would be. 

May we learn to support one another. To affirm each other in truth and love, to stand by each other even when we hit our lowest points to know that there is still hope. May we not just be concerned with our outside beauty or how pleasing our lives are. May we nurture or hearts and minds for everything we do flows from them. Proverbs 4v23 ‘Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.’

I pray Romans 12v2 over all our lives, ‘Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will.’ . We were all important enough to God to be created by his design. We find our purpose and hope through God. For we are his creation, we are loved best and most by God because we are his children. 1 John 3v1 ‘See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! That is what we are!’. 

I have been my own worst enemy for too long. It is something I am actively willing to change and I pray that you will want to do this too. I only focused predominantly on the mind in this blog, it will be a topic I  will keep revisiting throughout this year as I journey through overcoming this barrier. As I said at the start it does have begin with the mind, for it is where all this hatred and darkness is at root. Everything else will flow a little more naturally once our mindset begins to be transformed. We all need to find the best way to be ourselves and to live our lives. Let us take back what we have allowed to be squashed and devoured for too long. 

Philippians 4v8 ‘Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.’

May you all have a blessed week, I pray that what you are battling at the moment that you will be able to overcome. You are loved and cherished, love Victoria. xx

My instagram is @torijoy24 if you want message or need prayer.  xx

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